"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.
"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated* or I'll simply go to another doctor."
"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"

*( castrated means: to remove the testicles of a man or male animal, making reproduction impossible. )

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there," says Steve,"It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."
"Well," said the patient,
"I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised**."

**( circumcise: khatan/sunat )

Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "Damn it! THAT'S the word!

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results.

On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.
Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.
The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29".
"I am actually 47."

Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies,
"I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and palpate your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age."

As there was no one around, the man thinks, and lets her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."
Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"

The old lady replies,
"I was behind you at McDonalds."